By Dr. Mowahib Saleh Mahdi – Faculty of Islamic Sciences – University of Karbala
How can a person be distinguished and successful in their life? There are many stages and ways that make a person successful and prosperous, but we will focus on one of them in this brief, which is self-awareness.
Discovering the Self
Throughout a person’s life, whether sixty, seventy, or more years, they often only utilize a small fraction of the powerful abilities that God has endowed them with. Most of their time is spent sleeping, playing, or being distracted. However, one must understand themselves and their capabilities. We must know our capabilities in order to invest them effectively. Imam Ali (a.s.) said: “The best knowledge is the knowledge of oneself.” We must not judge ourselves only by appearances, as we know ourselves better than anyone else. Just like a mountain, which shows only a small portion above the ground, while its true size is far greater beneath the surface, the same is true of the soul. It is far more significant than what we see. This is why the prophets came to awaken the hidden potential within our minds. Therefore, we must first understand ourselves and then judge ourselves with statements like, “I can or cannot.” The same applies to others. We should not judge them solely by their outward appearances. This is what Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) advised Abu Dhar when he said: “O Abu Dhar, Allah does not look at your appearances or wealth, but He looks at your hearts and deeds.”
Talking to Yourself
“You are where your thoughts have brought you today, and you will be where your thoughts take you tomorrow.”
In 1983, a university in California conducted a scientific study on self-talk and concluded that more than 80% of what we say to ourselves works against our best interest. This includes anxiety, which is responsible for 70% of diseases such as high blood pressure, ulcers, heart attacks, and others.
How to Talk to Yourself
A person can talk to themselves through thought. As it is said: “Watch your thoughts, for they will become actions. Watch your actions, for they will become habits. Watch your habits, for they will become character. Watch your character, for it will define your destiny.”
You can have a conversation with yourself by reviewing your past actions, words, and arguments. Re-reading them can have a profound effect on your soul. Be honest in your expressions but do not belittle yourself, as the greatest harm that affects a person is when they describe themselves negatively.
Therefore, my thoughts control my choices, but I can guide my thoughts. Hence, at any moment, I can change my future by reprogramming my present.
Self-Programming
Most of a person’s programming occurs in the early years of their life, from birth to the age of seven. These early programs account for 95% of our minds and are stored in our memory. By the time we reach the age of 21, we have completed the programming received from our parents. This is not a small amount of programming, so we should be cautious not to use the word “no” too frequently in front of parents, as it can lead to negative programming.
Peer influence also plays a role in this programming, especially between the ages of 5 to 18, which is a very sensitive period. Thus, it is essential to choose the right friends to ensure that this self-programming proceeds in the best possible way.
The school also has a significant impact on self-programming, but this depends on the teacher who carries out this task. If the teacher is qualified, the programming will be effective; otherwise, it may be negative. A student may receive harmful programming from a teacher, such as hearing the words, “You don’t understand anything at all.”
We must also not forget the role of the media in self-programming. A person tends to imitate what they see on television screens, including fashion, gestures, speech, and more.
“Choose positive programming for yourself, for you will ultimately find what you have made of yourself.”
Plans for Positive Programming
Effective and beneficial programming plans include focusing on programming the subconscious mind with clear, positive messages that relate to the present reality. Practical methods for this include:
- Write down at least five negative self-messages that affect you, such as “I am nervous, I am weak, I am…” Then tear them up and throw them away.
- Write down five positive self-messages that empower you, such as “I have a strong memory, I am excellent, I am…” Keep these positive messages in a small notebook.
- Read these messages one by one until you thoroughly absorb them. Repeat each one several times, then close your eyes after reading and visualize yourself positively. Open your eyes with confidence.
- Start today, and be careful of what you say to yourself. Observe what others say to you, and if you receive a negative message, change it and replace it with a positive one.
- Don’t forget that repetition is the key to mastery. Repeat your positive messages with confidence, for you are the master of your mind, and you have the power to control your life and make yourself happy.
Belief as a Source of Self-Control
It is certain that beliefs have a profound impact on behavior. Believe in yourself as a champion, as the best, and if you have not yet arrived at this belief, act as though you already do. Behave as if you are the best and the finest.
Believe in the value and influence of the things around you, such as “cell phones, the internet, TV channels,” and also believe in the causes and effects of things, like “smoking causes nerve relaxation.” Believe that you can live without what you are currently attached to, such as, “I can live without cigarettes.”
By: Mowahib Al-Khatib – Iraq
[1] Al-‘Ilm wa Al-Hikma fi Al-Kitab wa Al-Sunnah, Al-Rishahri, p. 288.
[2] See: Nahj al-Balagha, Imam Ali (a.s.), p. 23.
[3] Al-Jami’ li-Ahadith al-Shi’a, Al-Burujirdi, Vol. 14, p. 262.
