If I had ordered it, …

Nahjul Balagha Part 1 The Sermons Sharif Razi
Disclosing real facts about assassination of ‘Uthman Ibn ‘Affan1
Amir al-mu’minin said:
If I had ordered his assassination I should have been his killer, but if I had refrained others from killing him I would have been his helper. The position was that he who helped him cannot now say that he is better than the one who deserted him while he who deserted him cannot say that he is better than the one who helped him. I am putting before you his case. He appropriated (wealth) and did it badly. You protested against it and committed excess therein. With Allah lies the real verdict between the appropriator and the protester.
Alternative Sources for Sermon 30
(1) Al-Baladhuri, Ansab, V, 98, 101.